The Way of the Editor Presents:
Even though nobody has actually asked any of these questions yet, we thought we’d put in a few irreverent responses to help you find your way.
Eskimo Grandmother FAQ
Q: So… what’s new?
A: Nothing much. We’re using this FAQ to introduce our users to a new member of our team: the Eskimo Grandmother Lady.
Q: That’s not very PC.
A: What?
Q: It’s un-politically correct.
A: I wouldn’t tell her that if I were you.
Q: But why an Eskimo grandmother? Why not a Southern one, or a Canadian? Why a grandmother at all?
A: Why a round earth? Why not flat? Same principal, man.
Q: That really didn’t make any sense.
A: Neither did your question.
Q: Fine. Moving on, what was the inspiration for the character?
A: Oh, a lot of things. I think the windowless office had something to do with it and coffee motivates us greatly in the morning. Also, Pete says the ventilation here is not very good on the weekends and some of the older comic books smell bad.
Q: Why is he even in the office on weekends?
A: Ask Pete.
Q: So, what’s the Eskimo Grandmother’s relationship to the comic book business?
A: Well, she’s two dimensional and makes her living out of over-the-top outrageousness. I think that qualifies as pretty much being the business.
Q: That’s a pretty harsh way of reducing it.
A: Hey, we’re all in the comic book industry here.
Q: So can you shed any light on the “origin story” of the character?
A: I’m afraid I can’t talk to you about that just yet. You’ll just have to wait for the pending comic book tie-in release later this year. We’re all very excited because we’re planning on breaking the record for comic book variant covers by making at least 27 separate collectible variant covers available for our customers. (Eat your heart out, Avatar!)
Q: Really?
A: No.
Q: Will I be able to use Eskimo Grandmother with my copy of ComicBase?
A: Yes. There will be a m4d mod patch for the program that will add Eskimo Grandmother wallpaper, icons, and an exclusive Quicktime Eskimo Grandmother video (Archive-only) to your copy of ComicBase. Buy your upgrade copy of the Archive Edition before October 1st and all this can be yours for only $99.95!
Q: Are you pulling my leg again?
A: Well, there’s not really a m4d mod, but the the Archive upgrade discount really is good until October 1st, and you can upgrade from any previous version of ComicBase for $99.95.
Q: Cool.
A: I know. What are you still waiting for?
Q: Will I also be able to buy Eskimo Grandmother memorabilia from your online store?
A: You want us to what?
Q: You know, like pinup posters and art books and stuff.
A: I’m afraid that wasn’t phrased in the form of a question.
Q: Is that a yes?
A: I don’t care.