The Way of the Editor:

Shocking new material surfaces at the Human Computing Office.

Editor’s Note: This article was found scribbled in Sharpie on the back of several ComicBase Archive packages in the office, apparently with neither writer attribution nor spellchecking involved. Notable grammatical errors and spelling inconsistencies were corrected for publication except when interpreted as an intentional effect of the author. The only clues we have had towards the identity of the interviewer is a badly-smudged and washed-out signature resembling a broken “g” and “l” at the bottom right corner of the page. The stain on the page smells strongly of a mixture of alcohol and olive juice…

Explaining the allure of the Eskimo Grandmother Lady may come as a challenge for the uninitiated. Her appeal is not something immediately accessible. Heck, it’s not even salient. Her wide berth has spanned the covers of numerous trade magazines, fashion spreads, and even Playboy back in the 1960s, yet disaster after disaster has dodged every step of her career. Warehouse after publication warehouse met its mysterious (and often incendiary) doom prior to the shipping of any of her covers and feature work, effectively delaying the world’s exposure to the undaunted maverick. Although rumors of sabotage and rivalry have been whispered, no hard evidence has ever surfaced, and the enigmatic Lady herself seems to barely even acknowledge the possibility of falling into anonymity.

“Since I was a little girl, I believed I was a child of destiny…” She draws slowly on the cigarette, her unhurried mass seated comfortably across the three conference room seats, martini glass gathering frost on the table. It’s unusually cold in the office and the sounds of the air conditioning working on overdrive can be heard over the mild fluorescent buzz of the lights overhead, but Karisma doesn’t seem bothered. The four foot ten iconoclast and maverick model has seen more than her share of cold seasons and freely disregards the convention of temperature and dress as anything but external nuisances, as evinced by the three by three inch cuts of black bikini fabric and slightly rumpled tutu below her ample waist. Her only nod to the cold is the now iconic parka hoodie crowning her head.

Q: I understand that this is your first time in California?
A: I’ve never been this far south of the border.

Q: I’m surprised your work doesn’t take you more frequently away from home.
A: Excuse me, where are we again?

Q: What inspired you to take your current career path?
A: Since I was a little girl, I believed I was a child of destiny. I’ve always been unique because of my versatility, and I’ve very good at what I do even when what I do isn’t pretty. I’m still hard pressed to find a better artist than me, so…

Q: Isn’t that quote stolen from Elizabeth Taylor?
A: Elizabeth who?

Q: So how long have you been doing this work?
A: Maybe eight or nine months, on an off. It’s been a few decades since I started.

Q: How would you say your work has been received thus far?
A: Did you know that 32% of the U.S. is still not famous?

Q: Excuse me?
A: I read it in an article.

Q: What have you enjoyed most about your job?
A: The travel.

Q: But you just said—
A: Don’t give me that tone of voice, youngster. I may not look it, but I still I get around!

Q: What was it like posing for Playboy?
A: You’re too young to know about that, sonny.

Q: Right. Uh. So I hear you have a new movie coming out. What are the differences between modeling for photographs and playing in a movie?
A: Wouldn’t you like to know.

Q: That is the purpose of asking the—
A: It’s hitting select theaters October 1st and includes a tie-in with some kind of sport program. ComicBat or ComicBase or something or the other. They say you need a whole Archive of software to use it, though. The program, not my movie. My publicist says to check an “e-mail IN-box” for details.

Q: Can readers find out more about you online?
A: On what?

Q: Are you connected in other ways to the internet—via MySpace, Livejournal, etc.?
A: What do they want to know? Well, I hear I have an unofficial fan page on Livejournal. I don’t usually hold with that interwob kind of stuff. It’s just a series of tubes, you know? I had my assistant bring me some the other day.

Q: It’s been rumored that you’re not actually of Inuit descent…
A: You know, back home we call people like you “amuco.” You’re the sort that will take off all your clothes in the winter and run naked in the snow. People like that don’t live very long in a vil—

Unfortunately, the remainder of material was illegible beneath the blurred ink. However, if you’d like to find out more about the Eskimo Grandmother phenomenon, please visit the Eskimo Grandmother FAQ online, today.